A public statement

The last blog got a surprising, if not scary, response not too long ago.

Perhaps I was a bit harsh in that last post.

The Office of Student Conduct and Civility Services sent me an email saying that I needed to make an appoinment with them before Labor Day or I they would place a hold on my account. At first, I was in shock and I started to feel a little sick. Was I in trouble again for something horrible I did?

When I made it to the Administration building, I was already having an anxiety attack. It happens when I know I'm in trouble for something and I'm extremely worried or when I'm having a meltdown.

So when I got to the office, I found that Carrie Wood read my first blog and automatically assumed that I was going to cause her physical harm, which was the reason for reporting me.

It was a false alarm, at least. But I still felt upset that someone thought I would do something horrible to them. I honestly don't mean to cause harm on people. Ever since I started going to therapy when I was fifteen, I learned that inflicting pain on others is not worth anything. Hitting or punching people doesn't solve problems; it just leaves cuts and bruises.

Therefore, I NEVER want, nor will I ever, inflict physical pain on Carrie Wood. As much as I have a nasty grudge against her, I know I won't be able to come close to harm her physically. I have no intention of hurting anyone anyway.

There have been times in high school where I wanted to hurt those who insulted and ridiculed me, but I had flabby arms and I wasn't very good at fighting. Now, I still have flabby arms and I can say bad things, but remember that I'm only VENTING. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to do any of those evil things. About one hundred percent of the time, I will never get to taking it out on someone in person.

The Rachel's Rant series is clearly about something I feel "angsty" about, so I strongly encourage readers to avoid assuming that I'm going to do something extreme due to issues posted here. If I ever do write something extreme, which I may never do, assume that it's not going to happen because it never will.

I still hate Wood and I don't wish her well, but I never want to hurt people. I've read my last blog over and over; not one sentence in the entire thing says that I want to hurt her. Not one.