This is a response to a note that Towson University police found in the University Union Friday afternoon. The anonymously written note and the article along with it are in the latest issue of the Towerlight.
Dear anonymous,
I've read your note and you sound really truly convinced that life really stinks. I don't blame you. Things can get very complicated every now and then. And yes, we are one in this world.
My father was unemployed for the first half of the year before he finally got a job. The bills, especially our medical (because all three of us- my parents and I- are all on medication and seeing different doctors), are at an all time high. My father has asthma and high blood pressure; I have anxiety difficulties. I can't stop worrying, although I'm trying to counteract it with a whole lot of therapy and medicine.
But here's a lifeline to you: If you plan to kill yourself, think twice. Think about everything that you're going to miss out of college. Think about everything in detail. Is it really worth it?
You only have one life to live. Is the world and all of these problems worth killing yourself over? If I was in your position, I wouldn't commit suicide; I would get help from someone I trusted.
And if you wanted to help others, you should get involved on campus and do some community service. You could maybe join a non profit organization and do something to benefit the world, like Invisible Children or UNICEF. You could even get some people together and petition the government so you can make a difference. But don't hurt yourself; it won't do anyone any good. It won't do the world any good because that's one more person to die here. Suicide is not a good thing. To me, it's more like a waste of life.
Think about your situation this way: if your life is such a mess right now, you've probably hit rock bottom. It's hard for me to say this because I mostly think things for me will only get worse, but once things get that bad, they can only get better. If you're in hell right now, trust me, something is going to happen that will get you out of that tight spot.
After all, you're in college, getting the best education of your life. There are many people who don't have a college degree or a great college experience. You're not starving in a poor third world country and you're not in a terrible community. There are so many people and resources here that can help you.
Now, I'm not too impressed with this college too much and I'm upset that this economy and the issues today are putting pressure on everyone, including my family. But seriously, there are other people in this world who have worse problems than you do. You can blame everything on the world, but killing yourself is not going to solve any problems.
I'm assuming that you have friends, so I'd say go to them and tell them how you feel about everything. They are there to help you. That's what friends are for.
Other than that, life is fair. Everything happens for a reason, no matter how stupid or outlandish it can get.
You're just in a tough spot and you think that death is the only way out. In high school I tried to kill myself because I used to think those same things that you do and I thought everyone at school hated me. Then I realized that there were people who cared about me and I just have several dilemmas I needed to sort out. I knew there was something wrong with me and I got help. You can do the same.
If I died, I would have never gone on to college, I wouldn't have participated in LeaderShape 2009, I wouldn't have met so many people and had the time of my life. I wouldn't have celebrated my twenty first birthday, I wouldn't have done any community service work with children in Baltimore City when I went to CCBC, and I wouldn't have been secretary of student government before transferring to Towson. I also wouldn't be pursuing my dream of becoming a writer.
Those kinds of things are what you could be missing later on.
If that doesn't help, turn to music, which is what I do all the time. Take these words from KT Tunstall in the song "Heal Over": "It doesn't take a genius to realize that sometimes life is hard. It's gonna take time, but you'll just have to wait. You're gonna be fine."
Everything is going to be better, I promise. Don't hurt yourself, sweetheart. There are so many things ahead of you that could make your life worthwhile and can benefit the world around you at the same time. Every person counts.
I just hope I'm not too late to give you this message.
Most Regards,
The Little Voice
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